1973 did not start off as one of my best years. Satin's letter telling me she wasn't coming back arrived on January 3^rd. I had no idea what to do. I was brokenhearted. I wanted to hate her, to blame her for hurting me, but I couldn't. I blamed myself.

Maybe at some point while we were together, Satin made a comment about my looking "well-fed". Maybe at some point she said something about how another guy looked good, a guy thinner than me. I really don't know. I know I decided I was fat. I know I decided that was why she left.

(A little reality check here. At that time I weighed about 185 pounds. At 5'10", that's not really fat. I believe at that height, somewhere around 165-170 is supposed to be acceptable.)

I decided I had to lose weigh and lose it fast. I put myself on a red beans and rice diet. That's all I ate. I only ate once a day, at lunch. I only ate one serving.

I also decided I had to do something I always hated. I had to exercise. I started walking. I got up to walking five miles a day. I also decided I needed to do sit ups. I was doing 150 every morning and 150 every night. I was doing push ups too, the same amount.

I stopped doing anything but going to class, studying, walking, or exercising. I completely eliminated any kind of social life. The only person I saw outside of school was Chrissy, and if she didn't need a place to crash, I doubt she would have been able to put up with me.

Chrissy listened to me talk about Satin. She would say all the things I needed to hear about what a good guy I was and I shouldn't worry about it so much. She even did sit ups with me.

By April 1^st I weighed 135 pounds.

At that point Chrissy started to make me eat. Actually what she did was to get me stoned and start cooking food. I never knew she could cook before that. She more or less moved in full time. Even I wasn't stupid enough not to understand she'd decided she had to take care of me.

Life got more normal. I gained back about 15 pounds and started eating normally. I cut back on the exercises. I started going places again. I even started to notice what a good looking woman Chrissy was becoming.

That's about the point Max dropped his bomb on me.

Max and Medina were just not working out. The realities of living in a small town were finally setting in on him. The weirdness of turning 40 had set in as well.

Max was moving to California. He'd loved San Francisco before the first time we went there. And then there was Honey (remember the Supergirl painting?).

Well, moving was going to be expensive. Living in San Francisco was going to be expensive.

In other words, "You're on your own now, Jesse."

My tuition was paid up and Max had enough cash set aside for me to cover rent and expenses until the end of the term. But come the first of June, the party was over.

Great.

Well, I could get the job at the head shop back, but it didn't pay nearly enough. I looked into busboy and dishwasher jobs, but it was the same problem. Chrissy even offered to start waitressing, but it was the same problem. Between us both, we'd never make enough to keep the place in Lakewood and eat at the same time.

At least Chrissy could go back home. My options seemed quite limited.

Then again, there WAS one option I'd never considered, an option nobody would have suggested to me.

There was the military.

The U.S. and Vietnam, excuse me, NORTH Vietnam, had signed the Paris Peace Accord in April. The war was over, at least officially.

One day I found myself in front of the Air Force Recruitment Center. I figured it couldn't hurt to talk to them. So, there I was, sporting patched up jeans and a foot and a half long ponytail, talking to this guy with six stripes on his arm about the opportunities the United States Air Force could offer me.

Nobody was making any better offers.

For four years of my time, they'd give me four years of college.

And I'd probably learned something that could get me a job at the same time.

Okay, I'd have to cut my hair and wear those ugly uniforms, but it was only for four years.

Okay. Why not?

I passed the tests, I passed the physical, I even passed the FBI security check. I was on my way. I caught the plane out of Cleveland heading for San Antonio on June 17, 1973. I was headed for Lackland Air Force Base.

Chrissy was at the airport to see me off. It was the only time she ever kissed me.